A Trade

[Description: Intended for male voices (can be changed to suit female voices). A monologue for a villainous character meeting the hero sent to kill them.]


Well, well, well… Look who’s come back to see me!
(Laugh) Of course I could feel you coming…
Even without my eyes, I have my other senses, you know. (Pause)
I know why you’re here. There’s no need to explain.
We both have something that the other person wants.
You may have my all-seeing eyes, but I have your soul.
I think we can agree that they’re both important.
(Light laugh) I can already feel your soul trying to find a way to get back to you.
It’s trying so hard to escape!
But I won’t let you have it back, at least not for free.
How about this – I’ll give you back your soul, and you give me back my eyes.
That way, we can have one more fight…
And I can have the pleasure of stealing your soul once more, permanently!

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I’m not a nice guy.

[Description: Script specifically for males. For a rough-sounding guy who’s not so nice.]


Hey! Stop clinging to my arm like that!
I said get off me!
You’re really annoying, you know that?!
“I love you”?
(Laugh) What are you saying? Seriously?
I already told you that I don’t like you!
… You want to try dating me anyways?
Okay, fine.
Don’t blame me when you run home crying.
(Scoff) ‘Cause I’m not a nice guy.

Continue reading “I’m not a nice guy.”

Waking Up In… Hell

[Description: A boy was murdered after committing a murder himself and ended up in Hell. Devils are born to wreak havoc on Earth.]


Boy: (Groan) I-It’s so hot!

Girl: (Soft laugh)

Boy: Who’s there?!

Girl: (Laugh)

Boy: Who are you?! Where am I?! Show yourself!

Girl: You asked where you are… Are you stupid or something? Open your eyes! Take a look around! What do you see?

Boy: … T-there’s fire all around us…! How did I get here?!

Girl: (Condescending laugh) You’re dead! You just happened to end up in Hell~

Boy: Wh… What do you mean I’m in Hell?!

Girl: I guess you don’t remember your own death. I watched as you stabbed your best friend 37 times in a fit of jealousy! And then sometime later, you ended up getting killed in the bathroom of a department store! (Laugh) It was pathetic, really.

Boy: (Darkly) I… I can remember it now… That bastard stole my girlfriend away! It was the perfect crime too! The police suspected me, but they couldn’t link me to the murder. But how… How did I end up murdered?!

Girl: Hmm… It seems you’re angry now. Well you know, those who reside in Hell have the duty of causing trouble to those who are still on Earth. Of course, now that you’re one of us…

Boy: (Dark laugh) I see. If that’s the case, then take me with you and teach me. I’ll avenge my own death first… And then I’ll fulfill my new purpose in this world!

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I Don’t Like You

[Description: Some people have too much confidence. These are the people I hate the most.]


There’s a conversation that I’ve been imagining recently.
“I don’t like you,” I’d say to you calmly.
“Why?” you’d say.
You’d sound pretty heartbroken.
Of course, I’d explain after looking at your pitiful expression.
(Chuckle) Isn’t it obvious?
You’re confident in your abilities but have nothing to show for it.
You always come to me, telling me about what you call your “success.”
Of course, I mask my true feelings.
“Wow, congratulations!” I tell you.
But inside, I’m really just wishing for you to leave me be.
Your “success” is only failure to me.
You’re the kind of person I hate the most!
You’re a hundred years too early to be saying anything you do is a success!
(Sigh) I got a little worked up there…
Well… how about I say it now then?
(Chuckle) I really don’t like you.

Continue reading “I Don’t Like You”